14 Tamlin Red Flags You May Have Missed on Your First ACOTAR Read

Anyone who’s read the entirety of Sarah J Maas’s A Court of Thorns and Roses series knows that Tamlin is essentially a red flag on two feet (or more like four paws these days). But the real question is: did you catch all the flags that were a-flyin’ as early as ACOTAR? Or did you not see the signs until it was too late, like our leading lady Feyre?

I’m not going to lie—I missed A LOT of these warning signs on my first read-through (probably because I was too focused on my favorite flaming-hot fox-boy). But once I did a second (then third, fourth, and fifth) reread, I found that they were damn near impossible to miss.

And while not every single one of these are all that awful on their own, it’s when you view them as a whole that you realize just how toxic Tamlin the Temper-Throwing Tamtrum really is, even well before the trauma of Under the Mountain.

So without further ado, here are 14 Tamlin red flags that you may have missed on your first ACOTAR read:

🚩 1. He immediately knocks Feyre out with magic despite the fact that she’s being totally compliant

I opened my mouth to again ask him for his name, but a growl of annoyance rippled out of him. I didn’t have a chance to struggle, to fight back, when a charged, metallic tang stung my nose. Exhaustion slammed down upon me and blackness swallowed me whole.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 5

What in the hell even was this!? Despite being absolutely terrified, Feyre was doing everything she was told to in following him to Prythian. In fact, she was simply attempting to be amicable when he went and just knocked her out.

For me, this scene screams classic “Tamlin can’t handle his emotions correctly and uses brute strength to control the situation to his advantage.”

🚩 2. He completely disrespects her living situation across the wall, with no regard for who hears him

“And as for the girl, she stays. Unharmed. End of discussion. Her life in that hovel was Hell enough.” My cheeks heated, even while I loosed a tight breath, and I avoided looking at Alis as I felt her eyes slide to me. A hovel—I suppose that’s what our cottage was when compared to this place.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 6

Let me just tell you that this one made my blood boil the first time around and as of my last reread, I’m still fuming.

The blatant disregard and disrespect for the livelihoods of the humans suffering across the wall, especially the one he’s supposed to make fall in love with him, shows Tamlin’s true colors early on!

🚩 3. He literally snarls or growls at Lucien when he says or does something he doesn’t like

“Enough, Lucien,” Tamlin said to his courtier with a snarl. “I don’t want to hear details.” He turned to me, ancient and brutal and unyielding … A moment later, Lucien’s barking laugh echoed into the halls, followed by a sharp, vicious growl that shut him up.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 7

As a number one Lucien stan, I cannot stand the way he is treated by Tamlin from the very jump. I feel like we were made to believe that they have a genuine friendship, but the more you read, the more you realize what an a**hole Tamlin is to Lucien.

It’s like he knows that Lucien has nowhere else to go and takes advantage of this fact by treating him however the hell he wants. MAJOR red flag for me!

🚩 4. He threatens the Archeron family’s security and safety to scare Feyre into staying in Prythian

“I’m going to warn you once,” Tamlin said too softly. “Only once, and then it’s on you, human. I don’t care if you go live somewhere else in Prythian. But if you cross the wall, if you flee, your family will no longer be cared for.”
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 7

I absolutely HATE the way Tamlin uses Feyre’s family against her, especially by threatening the very things she’s worked so hard to provide for them: safety and security.

It’s clear that he knows this is a major weak spot of hers and has no issue using it to control and manipulate her as he sees fit.

🚩 5. He belittles Feyre unnecessarily when she asks why he’s being so generous

“I kill too often as it is,” Tamlin said finally, shrugging his broad shoulders. “And you’re insignificant enough to not ruffle this estate. Unless you decide to start killing us.” A faint warmth bloomed in my cheeks, my neck. Insignificant—yes, I was insignificant to their lives, their power. As insignificant as the fading, chipped designs I’d painted around the cottage.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 7

What is the point of being so condescending and hurtful? I’ve never understood what Tamlin was hoping to gain by constantly belittling Feyre like this.

Especially knowing what we know now about the cure for the curse, it’s even more bewildering that THIS is how he chose to treat the one and only person who could give him and his people any hope for a brighter future.

🚩 6. He appears to have little, if any, control over his claws coming out when he’s angry

But I looked pointedly at his hands, at the razor-sharp tips of those long, curved claws poking through his tanned skin. Noticing my stare, he tucked his hands behind his back.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 7

Tamlin clenched his hands into fists, as if fighting against the claws itching to burst out. But he didn’t reprimand me, didn’t do anything other than prowl back into the house without another word.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 9

Metal groaned as Tamlin’s claws punched out, obliterating the fork. He rose to his feet with a powerful, brutal movement. I tried not to tremble at the contained fury, at how his canines seemed to lengthen as he said, “Where in the forest?”
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 10

He flexed his fingers as if trying to get the claws back in, but they remained out, ready to slice through flesh and bone. “What do you want, Feyre?”
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 10

Tamlin flinched as his claws shot out, slicing his face. But the wounds closed as soon as they opened, leaving only a smear of blood running down his golden skin—which he wiped away with the back of his sleeve.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 16

“No. You’re not.” He clenched and loosened his fingers, again and again, as if trying to keep the claws contained.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 19

Need I say more?

🚩 7. He manipulates Feyre into thinking her staying in Prythian against her will is fulfilling the vow she made to her dying mother

“You are not breaking your vow—you are fulfilling it, and then some, by staying here. Your family is better cared for now than they were when you were there.”
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 11

This one really broke my heart for Feyre. She was already so torn apart with guilt over abandoning her family, and then Tamlin had to go and manipulate her feelings even further by making it seem like they were actually better off without her.

And using the vow she made as an eight-year-old to her dying mother to do so? ICK ICK ICK!!

🚩 8. Feyre is instinctually more comfortable with Lucien, even seeks him out, and is relieved when Tamlin stays away from her

Over the next three days, I found myself joining Lucien on Andras’s old patrol while Tamlin hunted the grounds for the Bogge, unseen by us… I never saw Tamlin around the manor—even at dinner, he spoke little before leaving early—off to continue his hunt, night after night. I didn’t mind his absence. It was a relief, if anything.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 11

Lucien’s russet eye was bright, though the smile he gave me didn’t meet it. “I’m unavailable today,” he said. He jerked his chin to Tamlin. “He’ll go with you.” … No. I almost said it aloud as I turned pleading eyes to Lucien. Lucien merely patted my shoulder as he passed by. “Perhaps tomorrow, human.”
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 12

I’m pretty sure this is one of those red flags that we all clocked the first time around because it was just so obvious that Feyre was much more comfortable with Lucien than with Tamlin.

And for the record, I’m 100% convinced that if wasn’t for the stupid curse Lucien would have absolutely blown Tamlin out of the water as Feyre’s first Fae love interest.

🚩 9. He intentionally leaves Feyre in the dark about important details and instead manipulates her into thinking she isn’t ready to know

He never gave me details, and I didn’t presume to ask about them; his safe return was enough.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 19

“One day—one day there will be answers for everything,” he said, releasing my hand and stepping away. “But not until the time is right. Until it’s safe.” In the dark, his tone was enough to know that his eyes were flecked with bitterness.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 19

I wouldn’t ask, not with the blight pressing down on him—not until he was ready. He’d given me space and respect; I could offer him no less.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 24

This behavior was infuriating the first time around and is even more upsetting when you realize it also foreshadows his treatment of Feyre post-UTM.

And while I’m aware there were certain things that literally could not be said thanks to the curse, that does not excuse Tamlin for making Feyre feel like she isn’t important or strong enough to be informed.

🚩 10. He ignores and distracts Feyre from her past to the point that she feels “as good as dead” to her own family

No one would remember me back home—I was as good as dead to them. And Tamlin had let me forget them. Maybe the paints had even been a distraction—a way to get me to stop complaining, to stop being a pain in his ass about wanting to see my family.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 19

My nails pricked the skin of my palms. Tamlin providing for them or no, glamouring their memories or no, I’d been … erased from their lives. Forgotten. I’d let him erase me.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 19

Yet again with the family stuff!! As if Feyre doesn’t have enough trauma surrounding her childhood and what she was forced to endure to survive, Tamlin has to go and make it worse by pretending it never happened.

Worse still is that in the very next scene, he proceeds to use Feyre as an emotional dump bucket for his painful past. What a freaking piece of work!

🚩 11. Every single thing about the way he handled Calanmai

“Go to your chamber,” he snarled, and glanced toward the fires. “Lock your doors, set up a snare, whatever you do.” “Why?” I demanded. The Attor’s voice snaked through my memory. Tamlin had said something about a very faerie ritual—what the hell was it?” … “Just do it.” His canines began to lengthen. My heart leaped into a gallop. “Don’t come out until morning.”
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 20

First of all, he refuses to tell her ANYTHING useful about Calanmai or The Great Rite. Instead, he uses his typical snarling and beastly intimidation tactics to get her to back down.

He reeked of magic. When I looked into his eyes, remnants of power flickered there. No kindness, none of the wry humor and gentle reprimands. The Tamlin I knew was gone. “Let go,” I said as evenly as I could, but his claws punched out, imbedding in the wood above my hands. Still riding the magic, he was half-wild.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 22

Ok, I can’t lie and say that I wasn’t into this scene the first time I read it, but I blame my smut-loving senses for getting in the way because the next few times just made me cringe over his continued coercive behavior.

“She seems to have a death wish,” he went on, cutting his meat. The claws stayed retracted but pushed against the skin above his knuckles. My throat closed up. Oh, he was mad—furious at my foolishness for leaving my room—but somehow managed to keep his anger on a tight, tight leash. “So, if Feyre can’t be bothered to listen to orders, then I can’t be held accountable for the consequences.”
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 22

Last but certainly not least, he blames Feyre for his actions the night of Calanmai instead of taking responsibility for leaving her completely in the dark. He’s literally fuming that she dared to defy him, yet doesn’t give a damn that he physically marked her.

🚩 12. He makes it very clear what he expects out of her WELL before the events of UTM

“No, I don’t want you to live somewhere else. I want you here, where I can look after you—where I can come home and know you’re here, painting and safe.”
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 22

My oh my, this one sent me into a tailspin on my second reread. It was like a lightbulb went off and I realized Tamlin’s overprotective and overbearing tendencies in ACOMAF were not just a trauma response to the events UTM, they were actually there all along.

With this one simple line, he makes it abundantly clear that he always intended for her to be the sheltered female who sat at home day after day just waiting for his return.

🚩 13. He literally made Feyre feel as if her loving him was a burden

I should say it—I should say those words, but they got stuck in my throat, because … because of what he had to face, because he might not find me again despite his promise, because … because beneath it all, he was an immortal, and I would grow old and die. And maybe he meant it now, and perhaps last night had been as altering for him as it had been for me, but … I would not become a burden to him. I would not become another weight pressing upon his shoulders.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 28

Alright go with me on this one because I know some people might not see it as a red flag, but I believe that it is based on everything we just went over. While Feyre feeling like a burden could be a total projection of her own emotional trauma, I still feel that Tamlin holds a great deal of responsibility for this reaction.

If he had not spent the majority of their time together manipulating her feelings, denying her important insight, belittling her human shortcomings, and intimidating her into complacency, I believe she would have had much more confidence in their commitment to one another and not have felt so inadequate.

For Cauldron’s sake, Feyre was the complete OPPOSITE of a burden to her family, she was literally their lifeline. So how does a strong, brave young woman go from that to feeling like an utter nuisance in such a short span of time? TAMLIN-that’s how!

🚩 14. Every single thing about his actions Under the Mountain

He just stared at me, unfeeling—unmoved. Unimpressed.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 34

Tamlin still looked at me without recognition, without a flicker of feeling.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 34

Everything became thick and murky. Why did Tamlin do nothing, say nothing?
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 35

First, we have his outright refusal to give Feyre anything—not a single glimmer of love, affection, or even basic recognition. And we’re supposed to believe that he’s doing it for her own good so Amarantha doesn’t know he has feelings for her? I call bulls***t!

I spent two days in that cell, or at least I figured it was two days, based on the meal pattern I’d begun to work out. I ate the decent parts of the half-moldy food, and though I hoped for it, Lucien never came to see me. I knew better than to wish for Tamlin.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 35

I felt the ripple in the darkness without having to look up, and didn’t flinch at the soft footsteps that approached me. I didn’t bother hoping that it would be Tamlin.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 40

Next, we have Feyre’s immediate loss of faith that Tamlin would ever risk coming to see her in her cell. How absolutely devastating is that?

This female literally ran full force into the lion’s den to save him and he couldn’t be brave enough to sneak a visit to her. But I guess that’s way too much to ask of someone who can’t even acknowledge her presence…

Tamlin. I could already see his face going pale, his lips becoming thin as the claws came out. I could almost hear the growl he’d emit when he asked me what I had been thinking.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 37

Tamlin’s face was like stone—like stone, save for the white-knuckled grip on the arms of his throne. No claws. He was able to keep that sign of his temper at bay, at least.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 39

This is SO telling! Feyre has been nearly eaten by a gigantic worm and then spends DAYS slowly dying from her injuries, and yet when she makes the tough decision to save her own life, her first thought is about how mad Tamlin will be.

And guess what? He freaking delivers like he always does (while somehow finally managing to get control over his claws!?)

Darkness encompassed me. I saw only a flash of green and gold before the warmth of Tamlin’s body slammed into me and our lips met. I couldn’t kiss him deeply enough, couldn’t hold him tightly enough, couldn’t touch enough of him. Words weren’t necessary.
A Court of Thorns and Roses, Chapter 42

And for the grand finale, he takes the only moment that they have together to essentially maul her. Not a single word passes his lips before he is all over her.

Are you freaking serious bro!? You wouldn’t even look her in the eye in fear for her life, yet you don’t hesitate to throw it all away for a quickie? This was the final straw for me, ya’ll.

Final Thoughts…

While a lot of people argue that SJM totally assassinated Tamlin’s character in ACOMAF, I think it’s fairly clear that the signs of his controlling and manipulative behavior were there all along.

That being said, I’m actually not a total Tamlin hater and would even be excited to see his character explored at a deeper level (especially with how well SJM writes self-discovery narratives).

But for now, get some serious therapy, Tamlin, and for Cauldron’s sake EAT!